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  • Writer's pictureMallory Fuller

This, too, will be okay

2021. The year “everything would get better.” While I still have high HIGH hopes for 2021, I have to be honest. These first few months have brought immense challenge, heartache, and anxiety. In January, I lost my sweet Grandaddy. I don’t think anything could have ever prepared me for the pain I would experience following his loss.

Last semester, I took one of the hardest classes I will have to take in my graduate program. At the beginning of the class my professor said the simple statement, “this, too, will be okay.” I didn’t know why, but those words really stuck with me. I now know that it was because I would need those words just a few short months later.

What I have come to realize is hard times are inevitable. Pain and grief are inevitable. Loss is inevitable. We can’t avoid these things, but we can hold on to hope that joy is still real, happiness is still attainable, and the hard seasons will pass. I am by no means an expert on grief or a mental health professional, but these are a few of the things that have helped me to continue to see joy amidst my grief.

"We can’t avoid these things, but we can hold on to hope that joy is still real, happiness is still attainable, and the hard seasons will pass."

It's okay to cry

I remember the first couple of days after my grandaddy passed, I didn’t cry. I don’t know if I subconsciously wanted to hold it all together or if it didn’t really feel real to me yet. Either way, I think I suppressed the feelings because I didn’t want to feel them. However, what I have come to realize is being sad or feeling grief is not something bad to be avoided. Allowing ourselves to feel the emotions as they come helps us to better understand how to deal with them and allow them to pass.

It's okay to ask for help

Asking for help is probably one the hardest things in the entire world. Whether you are struggling with your mental health, or experiencing grief, reaching out and admitting you need help can be the first step in healing. I am so incredibly thankful to have a support system and a family to lean on, but if you are struggling and need someone to listen there are counselors who are eager and ready to help. You can locate one here.

It's okay to rest

One thing I wish I would have done differently in my grief was to allow myself time to rest. While I know life is incredibly busy and taking time off may not always be a luxury, allowing yourself the time and space to grieve is extremely important. When we allow ourselves this space, we give room for the feelings to come and pass. Remember to be kind to yourself, even if it means your productivity takes a hit. And ALWAYS remember, your worth is not dependent on your productivity. See here for more on that note.

While I have to be honest and admit that I still cry and I am still grieving my grandaddy, I know that there is so much joy and hope to be found every day. I find so much comfort in knowing that I will, without a doubt, see his sweet face again one day. This, too, will be okay.

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